Ok I saw this behavior reinforcement technique done on that show Supernanny some time ago and I thought I should give it a try but I never got my butt in gear to go get the materials until this past weekend. What you do is you get a large clear jar and bunch of little balls. Every time your child does something good you give them a ball for their jar and when the jar is full they get a prize. When your child is misbehaving you warn them that if they continue they will lose a ball from their jar, then follow through if the child continues that behavior.
Elijah loves it! Its important that you find something for the prize that the child really likes so its important to him to fill up the jar. When we were at Lakeshore Elijah kept asking for these little foam balls that you squish together to make stuff similar to the way playdough works. I picked up 3 packages in three different colors for 99 cents each and when Elijah fills up the jar he will get to pick one to play with. I think what I will do is when we are out if there is something he is asking for that isn't expensive I'll buy it to put in a sort of treasure chest for him to earn.
The system even works when we are out of the house. A couple of times Elijah started getting fussy when we were in the car and once he was using a nasty tone with me so I warned him he would lose a ball when we got home and he stopped. I also was able to find some things he did good when we were out like sharing with his brother and walking safely in the parking lot so he received balls when we got home. He gets so happy when I tell him he has earned a ball and he keeps doing the good behavior more. I have found with this technique I don't have to yell anymore I just warn he is going to lose a ball then go take it away if he doesn't shape up. I rarely have to actually take a ball away which is nice. Usually the warning is all that is needed.
I found the balls at the 99 Cent store. They are ping pong balls sold in a package of six. It takes about 40 balls to fill up a large pickle jar I had sitting around. I filled up the jar to the top to show Elijah what it looks like full and explained the system to him then I emptied them all out into another jar. When you start you want to be really gracious with handing out the balls so they understand the concept. As time goes on you can get a little more picky about what earns a ball. If you give it a try let me know how it works for you.
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3 comments:
Awesome idea...I am glad it's working for you. I will definately try it when Esther gets older. Don't you love Super Nanny? I don't watch it as often as I used to, but she has AMAZING ideas on how to discipline. Go Jo! ~ Kindra
I have tried similar systems, positive discipline is great. We have to be careful though too so we don't get kids that are extrinsically motivated to behave in order to always get a prize. As they get older, we have to wean them off and teach them intrinsic motivation. The 99 cent prizes work now, but someday the motivations will get more and more expensive. It's the whole treasures in heaven perspective, plus grown ups don't get prizes for doing the right thing all the time. Most of the time it goes unnoticed except by God. Heavy for a five year old, but something to think about as the years go on.
Please excuse my soap box, I use positive incentives too. Just started the jar today. My twist though is they only get(in our case) a marble for every time they demonstrate a new good habit we are trying to establish. Once the habit is established, it's not rewarded anymore. They like the jar and it is a better visual than a sticker chart. It also gets them to work together as a team. So keep up the good work.
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